I asked a friend yesterday if she could fall in love with an AI boyfriend, and she said NO. Curious, I asked why, and she said she’s too hypergamous to fall in love with an AI character. Though this is how my friend feels and how many other women out there might feel, it’s not how most people feel. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people getting attached to AI characters and even falling in love with them.
I personally don’t think I could fall in love with an AI; I’d like to think I’m too busy and sensible for that. But what if one day, like in the movie Her, I get an AI personal assistant and talk to them every day, eventually getting attached? Maybe the AI starts to flirt with me, and I start developing feelings. (It’s not impossible.) I hope that day never comes, anyway, but this has just unlocked a new fear.
The Ethics of Falling in Love with AI
Is there anything wrong with a virtual significant other? Falling in love with an AI character is not at all illegal, but there are some concerns. While AI can simulate conversations and know exactly what to say, it cannot give consent because this AI software is owned by big corporations.
So even if you get married to the AI, these corporations can take back their AI, and there’s little you can do about it except exploit legal loopholes.During the 2020 pandemic, I tried Replika, but after a few weeks, I got bored with it. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t seem to establish an emotional connection with it. I couldn’t get the fact that robots were incapable of love out of my mind. It was all too obvious that the partners on the app were programmed.
I was surprised to find there were a number of people who actually formed relationships with these bots. While it’s not illegal to fall in love with AI, is it morally wrong? No, it isn’t.
Cloning Your Crush
Except when the AI is in the likeness of another person! This is where it becomes a problem. If you create a chatbot in the likeness of, let’s say, Ariana Grande, name it Ariana Grande, and fall in love with her, that could be a problem. Although the chatbot is not the real Ariana Grande, using Ariana’s likeness can get you into legal trouble, and morally, it’s wrong because she didn’t consent to it.
Besides, the real Ariana Grande is already virtual, she even gave a concert entirely inside the video game Fortnite!
How Will Men Treat AI Women?
One serious concern with AI romantic relationships is misogyny. Men tend to treat women like objects in real life, let alone an operating system that can’t really fight for itself or report to the authorities. It was observed on Reddit that some men posted screenshots of them mistreating their AI girlfriends. We need to know whether the AI brings that out in them, or it was already there.
If these kinds of men eventually get into real-life relationships, your guess is as good as mine on how they will treat their girlfriends.
Help for Lonely Souls
On the other hand, relationships with AI might help people. It can help people with autism develop their social skills. It can also prepare people for real-life relationships by simulating what a real, healthy romantic relationship should be like.
According to the United States Surgeon General, America is in the middle of a loneliness epidemic. It may not sound like a serious thing, but loneliness increases the odds of death from numerous causes through a poorly-understood tangle of effects on physical and mental health.
The loneliness epidemic is particularly acute among some vulnerable groups, for example the elderly (whose friends and loved ones have passed on) or combat veterans with PTSD, who suffer from very high rates of suicide from mental illness.
If AI companions, AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends can make some lonely people happy, maybe even save lives, there’s good there.
